How do I begin to make changes in my life?

How do I begin to make changes in my life?

If I want to make some changes in my personal world, where do I begin? It is common for people to shy away from making any changes, because they don’t know how to start the ball rolling. Many people may express a desire to change some things in their lives, but then continue on the same path because they are just not sure how to kick-start a new direction, or how to improve some of the elements of their lives which are not working so well.

So where do I begin if I want to initate change in my life? It may sound lame, but the following is very profound: If I want some aspects of my life to change, then I need to start with the decision to change. That’s it! Making the decision is the most powerful part of any change process and can actually be the hardest part, because for many of us, we don’t always know what we would like to change to, or what changes we would like to see in our lives. We may identify aspects of our lives that are not great, such as not feeling engaged at work, getting by with low energy, feeling isolated, but we may not see any way of changing things, so default to what we know best and continue on with life just as it is. This is completely OK, but we may also be missing out on improving our lives in some way, perhaps experiencing some great adventure like learning a new skill, gaining a job that is more satisfying, pursuing a particular interest that has always fascinated us, or improving our relationships (which may also be a by-product of improvements in other areas in our lives).

It is worth stopping from time to time and asking some key questions about life – your life – and your dreams for self-fulfilment. This is not a one-off exercise, as it is obviously the case that your responses will be different at different stages in your life, so it’s good to check in with these key questions periodically. Early in the year is a great time to take stock and reassess.

 You may really need to challenge yourself, or better still, have somebody else challenge you (that worked much better with me!) to respond to these questions:

  • What do I really want to be doing in my life? What makes me happy?
  • What would I really love to achieve (yes, even at my age)?
  • How do I want to be spending much of my time?

Asking these questions is a key step to initiating changes into your life. It requires courage, particularly if you are not accustomed to self-reflection or you need to delve deeply for your responses, or if you believe that some of your ideas may be a little ‘far-fetched’. Coming up with authentic responses may take time and require much reflection. Have a mentor or friend can help to tease out your answers. If you can come up with some responses, congratulations! Your responses, together with the decision to change, place you well on the way to bringing about changes in your life.

Each article in the Change series looks at various factors of initiating, implementing and managing change.

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  1. When I want to make a change for myself, I usually picture the change in my mind. Kind a like imagining or fantasizing the new behavior or attitude. A TED Talk i heard recently drove this message home for me “Fake it till you become it”. I like this concept and I think that if my brain can first believe that the change is imaginable then my body can make it a reality.

    • Margaret Lambert says:

      Faking it is a great strategy Kishan (and a future blog topic thank you!). For some, the hard part is convincing the brain that change is possible.

  2. Love it Marg! making decisions is the first step in breathing life in to our dreams and creating new realities! Kishan I love your take as well – I’m now a firm believer in “Hone it till you Own it” and likewise prefer to create a visual/audio picture of what I want to change, and then allow myself, as corny as it sounds, to embody this new reality! I am right now in the process of redefining relationships on major levels and and delighted with what’s unfolding. I’m thoroughly enjoying your blogs Marg xo

    • Margaret Lambert says:

      It’s interesting that we seem to operate on different ‘channels’ in how we embrace an idea or a decision – visual, auditory, kinesthetic or other sensory/cognitive means – and then we can begin to ‘own’ it. Thanks for comments Bron.

  3. More gorgeousness in your Change Series Marg 🙂

    Deciding to change is key and then committing and accepting that it may be incredibly hard. At my worst with agoraphobia I had to change the situation and accept each step forward was going to be incredibly hard, but when I (not others) decided I could no longer live without existence is when I started my journey to recover.

    Since then, I kinda embrace change and the decision to move through life without so much fear.

    Thanks for providing such sage and safe advice for everyone. My only question is where we’re you in my mid 20s to mod 30s!?

    • Margaret Lambert says:

      LOL – Probably in the same place you were!! Ah, the wonderful blessings that older age brings! Sounds like you have your own wisdom to offer. Thanks Megan.

  4. Thanks Marg, loving reading your blogs. I have so much change happening to and around me now and in the next 4-5 months I have found them really useful to keep me grounded and not too anxious about the changes.

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